Choosing the Right Therapist

October 21, 2013

By Jerry Nelson October 20. 2013

What is Psychological Health?

I have spent the last seven years working with our military Service Members and their families as they contended with the cycle of being deployed, coming back and being deployed again. As you can imagine, their service to our country impacted every area of their life. This was especially difficult for our National Guard and Army Reservists who came back home to their community without the same resources available to active duty personnel.  Working closely with these individuals, reinforced for me that our daily life consists of four main areas, as illustrated below, and that there is a lot of overlap. Psychological health takes a holistic approach to wellness – recognizing we are an integration of mind, body, and spirit. Difficulties in any one or more of these areas can have a major impact on other areas. Psychological health is achieved with balance in these four areas.

4 spheres

 

When Should a Person Seek Assistance?

I also used to work as a surgical nurse and often assisted with cancer surgery.  Most cancers start as a small group of cells that can grow to produce a noticeable lump.  If caught early enough, the cancer can be stopped in its tracks. In our daily life we can have early warning signs, lumps if you will, starting in any of the four areas illustrated above. These can spread into other areas and infect how you view yourself and/or others. For instance, there may be a situation in the social aspect of your life where a relationship has gone bad, such a divorce, unforgiveness, hurt by a friend, etc. Soon you notice you don’t want to associate with others, your appetite has gone away, sleep is impossible, you’re grumpy and irritable and it seems life is spiraling downward. It doesn’t take long for all four areas of your daily life to be affected.  It may be time to do something about these signs and look for a change.

Need a Change?

Need a change

Often the longer we wait to do something about the warning signs, the more entrenched the problem becomes in all aspects of life. Perhaps there is a lot of uncertainty in your life and you feel like you’re in a giant maze.  My experience with military Service Members and their families, as well as private practice, revealed that often changing one area of life, (such as emotions, behaviors, relationships, or even a direction in life) can help bring back the psychological health that was once enjoyed.

 

How CAN a Counselor Help?

Counselor Help 1 Counselor Help 2

You can think of a counselor as someone who comes along side of you and helps you sort out the changes you want to make. Often this involves giving you a new perspective on an issue, or developing new skills to approach old problems in a new way. Maybe you need someone to be more directive and point out things you just can’t see. In the illustration above, can you see the young woman/saxophonist, or the young woman/old woman? Some people can see the images right away, but others need more direction to make the distinction.

Wrong Results?

 Simpsons

I often hear “I tried counseling and it just didn’t work,” especially from men.  Perhaps the problem was you weren’t getting the results you were looking for after just one session. No matter who the counselor is, try to give it at least 2 to 3 sessions before you leave counseling with that individual. However, research shows that the best predictor of a positive outcome is being connected to your counselor. One way to avoid future conflicts is to interview several counselors before starting counseling sessions. I recommend you briefly describe your problem and ask the counselor how much experience they have with that problem. Ask them what their approach to your problem would be. Also ask them how they know when someone is done with counseling. You are listening for two things: the first is the actual answers the counselor gives you; and the second is how they answer you. Do you like what you hear and do you think you can connect with the therapist? You have a right to be proactive in your counseling.

The Bottom Line!

 Bottom Line Military

The military has a credo of leaving no one behind. Finding the right counselor to come alongside you as you work through some things in your life goes a long way toward having, and maintaining, psychological health.

Contact Jerry right now at 608-785-7000 x221 to schedule an appointment or click here to make an appointment request. 

Unleash the Power of the Positive in You….

April 25, 2013

The power of the positive…….by Diane Walker

What really happens to us when we get “stuck in the negative”; what does our body experience as a result? Conversely, how does our body react when we have a more optimistic outlook, believe in the good?

Research shows that men in unhappy marriages/relationships have a shorter lifespan of 10-15 years compared to those in happy marriages. For the purposes of this writing, we’ll define a happy marriage as one in which both partners exist on equal footing, emotional safety is present for both partners, and the ability to be completely ourselves is constantly present.

Negative thought patterns can lead to depressive symptoms, lack of energy, physical illness, unsatisfactory relationships, anxiety, anger, and that feeling of “just wanting to stay in bed all day.” It is often very difficult to maintain positive relationships when we don’t trust or believe in the goodness of others. Negative thought patterns can be instilled when we’re kids, by parents, school experiences, “life” in general. Most of us have some type of trauma in our childhoods, experiences and perspectives are individual and varied. We view our pasts through our own rose colored glasses, our own perspective, which has to be as important as anyones.

Let’s look at recent events in this country such as the Boston bombing a few weeks ago. We think about the victims with sadness, horror, and anger. We ask “why does this have to happen”; we want answers and feel like someone has to pay. Sometimes, we may get stuck in thinking we can’t explore the “unsafe” world, we don’t want to leave our houses. We may start or continue viewing other’s intentions as negative, wanting something from us, “why would you want to spend time with me”. We may look at the incredibly terrifying experience as a whole, not the incredibly compassionate events that take place within the tragedy.

What happens when we see the positive in this world; we acknowledge the negatives and violence, but do not let them define our own life’s parameters. Positive thinkers live longer, are healthier, are quick to smile, see the best in others, are motivated and believe in the power of change, and have deeper and more satisfying relationships.
The research surrounding positive thinking is prevalent and everywhere. Some people are born with natural optimism, others learn the secret of positiveness as they age. This is a skill that can be learned, that can transform your life. What about the people who help the victims of the bombing, the vast numbers of people who send cards, donate prosthetics, time, money, and smiles. How do some people get to forgiveness and begin the process of moving on with their lives?

How do some people learn the power of hope, despite everything they have been through in their lives. One Sunday, there was a story about a guy who never learned to read. He is a World War II veteran who survived the landing at Normandy. He worked as a civilian after the war until retirement age. His wife and co-workers covered for him so no one ever knew he couldn’t read. His lifetime dream was to read a book before he died. He is now 90 and has finally read several books; he tries to explain his intense feelings related to accomplishing his goal. He said, “Get in there and learn, you ain’t going to learn in that pine box”. How simple would it have been for him to just forget about this and live his life the way he always had. Change is possible at any age, in any environment, in any circumstance if we want it badly enough.

We can all learn the power of positive thinking and embracing positive change. Counseling can help with your outlook.

To schedule an appointment with Diane, click here now or  call 608-785-7000 x221!

 

Here is a great video on Mental Health Wellness vs Mental Illness…

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